The Rear Mountain Range of the Xiao Clan was a sprawling wilderness of jagged obsidian cliffs, towering ancient redwoods, and thick, mist-shrouded valleys.
While the outer perimeter served as a hunting ground for disciples to harvest low-tier herb roots and spirit beast hides, the deeper ravines were strictly off-limits. Beasts equivalent to Stage 5 Body Refining cultivators and above roamed freely, capable of shredding an careless junior into gory ribbons.
Leo stepped through the rusted iron perimeter gate, his heavy cast-iron skillet resting comfortably over his right shoulder like a club.
Walking half a pace behind him, looking utterly bewildered and deeply out of place, was Ling Yue.
She had followed him. She hadn't wanted to—her pride as the Inner Sect’s top genius screamed at her to return to her quiet meditation chamber. Yet the mystery of the 100% pure spirit pill, combined with the sheer, baffling absurdity of this boy walking into a dangerous beast zone armed with a frying pan, had proven impossible to resist.
"Xiao Long," Ling Yue said coldly, her hand resting firmly on the hilt of her blue steel sword as her eyes scanned the thick underbrush. "The Two-Headed Spirit Boar is a Rank 1 High-Tier monster. Its hide is as thick as iron plates, and its tusks are laced with paralytic poison. Cultivators usually hunt them in teams of four using heavy spears."
"Thick hide?" Leo mused, chewing casually on a stem of wild mint he’d picked near the trail. "Sounds like high collagen content. That’s gonna make the ground meat extra juicy. Perfect fat-to-lean ratio."
"Are you even listening to me?!" Ling Yue’s temple throbbed. "You are bringing a cooking utensil into a high-risk combat zone!"
"Hey, respect the skillet, Senior Sister," Leo said, tapping the black iron pan. "Cast iron holds heat better than any low-grade bronze cauldron your alchemists use. Plus, it doubles as a blunt-force weapon. Multifunctional efficiency—that’s Detroit engineering."
Before Ling Yue could lecture him further on basic hunting common sense, a low, guttural snarl vibrated through the damp earth beneath their boots.
GRRRRRR...
The bushes thirty yards ahead parted violently.
Out crashed a massive, terrifying creature. The Two-Headed Spirit Boar stood nearly seven feet tall at the shoulder, its dark grey skin covered in coarse, metallic bristles that rattled like knives. Two grotesque heads, each sporting yellowed, curved tusks dripping with green venom, glared at them with small, blood-red eyes.
[Target Locked: Two-Headed Spirit Boar (Rank 1 High-Tier)]
[Power Level: Equivalent to Body Refining Stage 5]
[System Assessment: Target possesses 120 lbs of high-grade, marbled spirit meat. Ideal for processing.]
"Stand back!" Ling Yue shouted, her sword sliding out of its sheath with a crisp SHWING. A frigid wave of icy Qi erupted around her as she stepped in front of Leo, her posture shifting into the high-guard stance of the Frost-Lotus Sword Style. "I will handle the beast. Cover my rear!"
"Whoa, hold your horses, ice queen," Leo said, casually grabbing her shoulder and gently pulling her back behind him. "You break it, you buy it, remember? If your sword cuts it up into tiny freezer-burnt shreds, it's gonna ruin the patty texture. I need clean cuts."
Ling Yue blinked, stunned by the casual strength in his grip that had effortlessly yanked her back. "Are you mad?! It’s charging!"
ROAR!
The Two-Headed Spirit Boar kicked up mud and shattered rock with its hooves, lowering both heads as it stampeded toward Leo like a runaway freight train. The paralytic venom dripping from its tusks sizzled as it hit the grass, melting the greenery instantly.
Leo didn't draw a weapon. He didn't summon a defensive barrier.
He simply shifted his weight onto his back foot, channeled a thick wave of golden-black Chaos Qi directly into his right arm, and raised the heavy cast-iron skillet high over his head.
"Detroit Style..." Leo muttered, his eyes tracking the boar's trajectory with terrifying precision. "...Grand Slam!"
BOOM!
The heavy iron skillet collided directly with the boar’s left snout.
The impact sounded like a wrecking ball hitting a brick wall. A shockwave of compressed air blasted outward, flattening the surrounding grass and blowing Ling Yue’s long black hair violently backward.
The boar's massive seven-hundred-pound body froze mid-charge. Its eyes rolled back into its skulls, the metal-like bristles on its spine shattered like glass, and its entire left jaw collapsed under the sheer kinetic force.
CRACK!
The beast flew sideways, spinning twice through the air before crashing into a thick redwood tree fifty feet away, knocking the massive tree down with a deafening CRASH. It twitched once, then went completely limp.
One hit. Instant knockout.
[PING!]
[Target Defeated: Two-Headed Spirit Boar!]
[Experience Converted: +400 Chaos Qi!]
[Current Chaos Qi: 1800/2600]
Leo lowered the skillet, checking the black iron surface for cracks. It was completely spotless.
"Man, 10 System Points well spent," Leo nodded approvingly. "Not a single scratch."
Behind him, Ling Yue stared at the collapsed mountain of boar meat, then at the heavy frying pan in Leo’s hand, her mind completely numb.
He... he killed a Rank 1 High-Tier beast... with a cooking pan?! she screamed internally. Without using a single blade technique?! How dense is his raw physical power?!
"Alright, Senior Sister! Time for butchering," Leo said cheerfully, pulling a sleek, razor-sharp hunting knife from his System inventory. "Watch closely. This is where the real alchemy happens."
An hour later, in a quiet, sunlit clearing beside a babbling mountain stream, a mouth-watering aroma began to drift through the wilderness.
Leo had built a steady, clean-burning fire using dry hardwood logs. Sitting atop three flat stones over the embers was the cast-iron skillet, sizzling furiously as two thick, hand-formed meat patties seared in their own natural juices.
Leo flipped the patties with a wooden spatula.
SSSSSSSSSSSS!
The scent of caramelized meat, cracked black pepper, smoked paprika, and roasted garlic exploded into the air. It wasn't the bitter, medicinal smell of boiled spirit herbs or pill refining; it was a deep, savory, decadent aroma that stirred the primal, hungry instincts deep within the human soul.
Sitting on a nearby mossy rock, Ling Yue found her eyes glued to the skillet.
Her stomach—which hadn't let out an ungraceful sound since she was five years old—let out a distinct, treasonous GRUMBLE.
Her cheeks instantly flushed a faint pink, and she quickly crossed her arms, looking away toward the river. "What... what absurd concoction are you making? A cultivator should cleanse their body of worldly impurities, not consume greasy animal flesh."
"Yeah, yeah, keep talking, Senior Sister," Leo chuckled, reaching into his inventory and pulling out a small wooden box containing aged yellow cheese—another small purchase from the System Shop.
He placed two thick slices of cheese over the sizzling patties, then covered the skillet with a wooden lid to let the heat melt the dairy into a golden, gooey blanket.
"In my world," Leo said, toasted two artisan wheat buns he’d prepped using his new [Basic Kitchen Mastery] skill, "we have a saying: 'Food is fuel for the soul.' You guys spend all day eating chalky pills that taste like dirt, calling it 'purity.' That’s not living, man. That’s just surviving."
He removed the lid.
The cheese had melted perfectly over the charred, juicy spirit meat patties. Using his spatula, Leo assembled the double-decker creation—bun, patty, melted cheese, another patty, special sauce, pickles, and the top bun.
[PING!]
[Item Crafted: Spiritual Double Cheeseburger (Detroit Style)]
Grade: Divine Culinary Artefact (Rank 1)
Effect: Consuming this meal fully restores physical stamina, permanently increases physical defense by 5%, and grants +300 Chaos Qi.
System Note: Warning: Highly addictive. May cause emotional outbursts in icy tsunderes.
Leo carefully placed the steaming, golden cheeseburger onto a clean wooden plate, stepped over to Ling Yue, and handed it to her.
"Here," Leo said smoothly. "First taste is free."
Ling Yue looked down at the stacked creation. The melted cheese was dripping tantalizingly down the side of the thick, seared patty, sending waves of savory, spicy steam straight into her face. Her mouth watered so intensely it was almost painful.
"I... I cannot accept this," Ling Yue stammered, her hands trembling slightly as she tried to maintain her cold demeanor. "A cultivator's heart must remain untainted by—"
"Eat it or I’m throwing it into the river," Leo interrupted flatly.
Ling Yue gasped. "Throwing away spirit beast meat cooked with such care?! That is wasteful!"
"Then eat it."
Ling Yue swallowed hard, her resistance crumbling under the sheer, hypnotic smell of smoked paprika and melted cheese.
Slowly, hesitatingly, she lifted the double cheeseburger with both hands. She opened her delicate, pink lips and took a small, cautious bite through the toasted bun, the melted cheese, and the juicy, seared patty.
CRUNCH-JUICE!
The moment her teeth sank through the layers, an explosion of flavor detonated on her tongue.
The rich, savory collagen of the spirit boar meat melted into a hot, flavorful juice, perfectly balanced by the smoky spice of the seasoning and the rich, creamy saltiness of the melted cheese.
Ling Yue’s eyes opened wide—wider than they had ever been in her entire life.
Her mind went completely blank. The cold mountain wind, her sword training, her clan duties, her icy demeanor—everything vanished, replaced entirely by pure, unadulterated, heavenly bliss.
A faint, golden light flared around her chest as the concentrated spiritual energy embedded within the cooked meat rushed into her meridians, warming her cold core like a cozy hearth in the dead of winter.
N-SO GOOD! she screamed in her mind, a soft, involuntary moan escaping her lips.
Before she even realized what she was doing, the top genius of the Xiao Clan took a second, massive, completely un-lady-like bite, chewing frantically as tears of sheer happiness welled up in the corners of her icy blue eyes.
Leo sat down on a nearby log, picking up his own cheeseburger with a satisfied grin.
"Told you," Leo smirked, taking a big bite of his own. "Detroit style never fails."
[PING!]
[Target Ling Yue's Affection Level: Increased dramatically!]
[Target's Impression of Host: Changed from 'Dangerous Monster' to 'God of Cooking']
[Reward Issued: +200 SP!]
Ling Yue swallowed her third bite, her cheeks bright red, her mouth covered in a tiny dab of yellow cheese and special sauce. She looked up at Leo through her long eyelashes, her eyes shining with an emotion she had never felt before in her eighteen years of life.
"Xiao Long..." Ling Yue whispered, her voice trembling slightly. "...what... what did you say this was called again?"
"A double cheeseburger," Leo grinned, winking at her. "Why? Want seconds?"
Ling Yue’s head snapped up and down in a rapid, desperate nod, completely abandoning her dignity. "Yes. I want three more. Name your price!"
Comments (0)